Recollection – Little Girl
―――― Even now, I can vividly remember that time.
“Hey, why did Sakura make me?”
In my memory, a young me asked Sakura with a smile.
Innocently. Purely. Without knowing the fate that awaited after this.
“…… That’s because this is Sakura’s wish.”
She bashfully turned away from me.
Whenever she hid her shyness, she made a gesture to play around with her twin-tailed hair.
The gesture was so cute that I loved it.
“Yes. Maybe it’s the nature of a scientist. After all, as a researcher, I want the results of Sakura to spread all over the world. Like, KaBoom!”
Hands evenly spread out, Sakura laughed cheerfully.
“That’s it. KaBoom. Sakura wants her creation to be appreciated. I want Sakura’s name to be known to the world. I would like to make a big impact on the world through Sakura’s research. Such is a universal desire.”
Speaking that way, Sakura answered with a shy smile like a child talking about her dream.
I often remember being attracted to her smile.
“Such a thing is universal. I’d be happy to help if I can make Sakura’s wish come true. Because to me Sakura is the best!”
“I’m glad, but I don’t deserve it.”
At my words, Sakura blushed and was scratching her cheeks.
And then, silently, she nuzzled her face into my back and hugged me.
Sakura had a habit of hugging my back when things were embarrassing or she was happy.
And, I also relax my body so as to leave myself to her and share her warmth.
―――― This was the daily life of me and Sakura.
Reading books and research records in Sakura’s room, gaining knowledge, talking about things I dislike, eating and sleeping together, sometimes pretending to be a girl and going shopping, and leaning on her body at night.
A mundane and happy life.
Until one day, when Sakura will make her wish come true.
Spring passed, summer passed, autumn passed, and winter passed.
It was a momentary event.
Did you see me using ‘Dominion’? Or did someone steal Sakura’s research data?
As usual, Sakura asked me to run an errand for her, and when I returned to the room with a paper bag.
A group of strange men had barged into the room.
Perhaps they were people of the Elmerado Army, seeing they were wearing military uniforms.
Beyond their gaze.
At their feet.
There was the figure of Sakura lying on the ground with blood pouring from her head.
“This one broke two taboos.”
One of the men, noticing me, turned around and pointed the muzzle of his gun at me.
“One is the manufacture of Homunculus for private use. And the other is the study of ‘magic’. You are more than enough danger to shake up this nation. That’s why Sakura was swiftly purged on the spot.”
“And you, too. A homunculus, who freely manipulates ‘magic’, is no longer human. You are nothing more than a monster.”
Click, the bullet was loaded.
Oh, I see.
Shouldn’t I have been allowed to exist?
Was it because I was born, because she decided to make me, that Sakura was killed?
Was it wrong for Sakura and I to live together in this world?
“Don’t screw aroooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnndddd!!!!!!!!”
At that moment, I was furious.
With burning emotions, I exercised my ‘Dominion’.
And, at the same time, the man opened fire.
The body of the first man to fire burst from the inside. The head, the torso, the limbs, and everything exploded all at once from the inside, literally turning the man’s body into dust. Then, explosions were triggered in a chain, and all the soldiers who were in the room turned into lumps of flesh.
However, the man’s skill was certainly excellent.
I tried to run to Sakura, who had fallen and wasn’t moving.
The bullet successfully penetrated the frontal lobe, and I lost consciousness.
In conclusion, Sakura died and I survived.
I must have instinctively exercised my ‘Dominion’. My body became abnormally regenerative, and it was almost impossible to physically die.
In a manner of speaking, I had gained an immortal body. Itwas a curse too cruel for me, who lost Sakura, and if so, even lost the meaning of life.
However, this body was rather convenient now. Thanks to it, I can continue the ‘research’ without any sleep or rest.
To replicate Sakura’s Soul, and revive her.
Sakura’s body lay in the incubator I was asleep in. It was originally a machine for adjusting the body of us Homunculi, but now it is used as a life prolonging device to preserve Sakura’s body as it was before her death.
“…… Wait for me, Sakura.“
I stared at the motionless body of Sakura, who slept in the incubator, and whispered quietly.
―――― I’m sure I was already starting to break somewhere.
――――About 200 years have passed since then.
In the dim closed room, my dry laughter echoed.
Ridiculous. Intolerably ridiculous.
Oh, I can’t believe I didn’t realize how simple it was.
The essence of life is the ‘soul’, and the body is only the ‘vessel’ that forms it.
This research has been concluded from the beginning.
The ‘soul’ is the entirety of life. Even if a body with 100% genetic match could be created, it is impossible to manufacture the “soul” that matched the same life 100%.
In fact, Homunculus had proven this to be true. Sakura seemed to have created many versions of me in the past, but none had the same thoughts and mind as I currently have.
In other words, if the ‘soul’ dies, it will disappear forever.
That was the conclusion of the last 200 years of research.
“Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!! Hihihi~, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh!!!!!!”
That was the limit.
Crack, I heard something shatter inside me.
I was not permitted to die in a world where I had lost Sakura, and the meaning of life was lost, and it was all meaningless even if I tried to revive Sakura as my last stand.
I couldn’t maintain my sanity.
” ―――― meaning?”
A single word.
I quietly whispered to myself as I came to my senses.
“Yes, when you die, your soul doesn’t go to heaven, you don’t reincarnate, you just disappear. There will be nothing. It’s all meaningless, isn’t it?”
If that’s the case, what were my memories of Sakura?
What was the purpose of my life?
I’m sure I’m not the only one who noticed this fact. Perhaps, the fact is that mankind is instinctively aware of this, but turn a blind eye to it.
If that’s the case, why would humans try to live when they are destined to disappear eventually? Why are they acting as if life had meaning?
In the first place.
Why does this world exist in the first place?
I know it’s a leap of thought.
But there’s no doubt that this is a pertinent notion.
Whether you live long or end a short life, once you die, it’s all the same.
Then, aren’t these lives that are alive now just wasting time?
“…… All right, Sakura.”
Clenching my trembling fist, I raised my face and spoke to Sakura, who was sleeping in the incubator.
“I’ll make your wish come true. I’ll make your name known to the world. Your masterpiece will end the world. It will be the grandest stage ever.”
My face was reflected in the incubator.
The expression was chillingly insane, even to me, and Sakira had a joyful smile on her face.
“So from this day, I will become Sakura. I will live on bearing Sakura’s name on my back. Then the memories and emotions and feelings I have for you will no longer be meaningless, will they?”
Once I grant your wish.
I’ll come find you.
So I consolidate it in my heart.
Sakura turned on her heel and left to rebel against the world.